I was reminded of a time in my life today where I was taught that being a conformist is the way to prevent fear, and the discomfort that comes from standing out. I am listening to a story about a freshman in high school. He of course is talking about coming into a new school, he decides one day to blend into the background so as to avoid the punishment that comes from being noticed. As I listened to this I realized that this may have been the beginning of my end. Early on in my life I was rewarded for hiding behavior. Being able to avoid conflict, being able to avoid criticism by standing in the back of the class where no-one could see me. This probably started when I was criticized, physically abused or, simply picked on for being different. Once I realized I could hide by conforming, I became that person, deep inside I have always felt the need to not be this person. At times I have been able to break the mold. I have met people in my life that have helped me to accomplish this very task, and these people have been able to carry me over the threshold into greener pastors, where I have been able to express myself…But still to this very day, when things become tough I tend to blend into the background… probably most of us do. We continue to be dominated by a world of non-conforming “bullies” who don’t have this fear. We both envy them and fear them all the same. What is stopping me?? Am I still really the same pimply faced teen inside??? I am afraid so. What then do I need to do to stop this fear from taking over my life?
I am realizing that the key to success is popping the pimple of both fear and conformity. letting that puss that has been building out… I truly believe from the bottom of my heart it is then that anything is possible. I don’t know if there are enough self help books for a person like me.. but I am hoping that over the next six months I can take the steps necessary to regain my freedom in life. Embracing confidence in who I am, not underestimating myself in fear of the retribution of others, taking the bull by the balls “per-say” and unleashing my Pasquini mental fury onto the world….. Let’s see… maybe I should just get some counseling instead (smile)
Loved your blog and of course thought of the appropriate Peaceful Warrior quotes. Your subconscious and of course the 4 Hour Work Week are busy at work.
“All of humanity shares your predicament. If you don’t get what you want, you suffer. even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can’t hold onto it forever.”
“The warrior is not about perfection or victory or invulnerability. He’s about absolute vulnerability.”
“Every action has its price and its pleasure. Recognizing both sides means a person becomes responsible and realistic about his actions.”
“Anger, hatred, violence. They are just fear. Fear and not money is the root of all evil.”
Finish watching The Way of the Peaceful Warrior. There is a segment where he’s thinking about killing himself and what happens is he lets go of his fear which is shown in his body double.
Of course you and I already know that fear is always with us. It’s how we deal with our fear that counts. Even the Peaceful Warrior has fear. David had fear when he faced Goliath. Athletes have fear when they go into a game. Parents have fear when they bring a child into the world.
Last quote,
“You never surrender your dreams. You only surrender what you don’t have and will never have, which is control. You may or may not succeed, but you are something exceptional.” It’s the journey to your dreams that makes life worth living. (DP)