I panicked while driving home last night, for a moment I began to think Hillary just might be the right candidate for President. Anybody who knows me would have been sickened by now hearing me expressing my uncanny love form Mr. Obama. What happened??? I am loosing it I thought. And then I thought if I change my vote now I am a hypocrite. I think it happened that moment when Hillary became emotional. And I think for the first time I realized just how much it meant to her that she had a gift to give to the country. She did not cry out of selfishness, or the thought of loosing, but it was a tear shed for the country. And I felt it, it gave me a bit of a chill to think that somebody could actually care about US (not the U.S) that much. At the moment it did not affect as much as it has over the last few days. I have been there, it happened each time I received a rejection letter while applying to PA School. It was that KNOWING that I had a gift to give, that my intentions were true, but I was so sad that they couldn’t see this through all the glitter. I was watching a bit of the last debates in NH and saw it again. Also I am beginning to wonder if Obama will actually achieve as much in health care that Hillary will…. I am beginning to think the answer may be no. So I sit here with my ballot on my desk and I am torn, can you believe it? I surely can’t. And if my dad gets wind of this it is all over for me. Since he is my only reader I am figuring I might be in trouble. So, I will be enjoying this moment of contradiction and we will see what happens.