Just like adults, children don’t always say what they think.  They either shade the truth or act out and expect us to understand what they are saying.

For example, when children are tired they usually don’t say they’re tired and want to go to bed, they get fussy, scream, cry, and any number of other things.  This happened a week or so ago after I took my four year old granddaughter to the fair to ride the children’s rides.. On the way home she said, “Papa Duke, I’m really tired.”  I thought she was going to go to sleep on the ride home, but she didn’t.  But when we got in the house instead of acting tired and telling her mother she wanted to go to bed, she started acting out, screaming and refusing to go to bed.

I’ve seen parents make excuses for their child’s bad behavior by saying “They’re just tired.”  I don’t believe that being tired is a good excuse to misbehave.  When my children got older and they used being tired as an excuse for misbehaving, I used to ask them, “How would you like it I hit you up the side of the head every time I was tired?”  They got the point.

Children must be taught that misbehavior is inappropriate for whatever reason.  This does not mean that we should not try to discover why they are misbehaving. We need to learn the language they speak or at least become good interpreters.

I hate to use a dog as an example, but it makes the point.  A friend’s dog kept coming up to me and I thought it wanted to be petted.  I reached out to pet it and it moved away.  He continued so I figured it wanted to be picked up, but when I tried to pick him up, he moved away.  He kept making what sounded like a whining noise.  He looked like he was ready to pounce and it hit me, he wants to play.  I asked the owner for a ball and that dog went wild as soon as he saw it.  All the noise and action was about his wanting to play, but I had no way of knowing except through trial and error.

Final Note:  Listening to children means giving them your undivided attention.  If you’re working on your computer, stop.  If you’re watching TV, stop.  If you’re cooking dinner, stop.  The basic rule is stop whatever you’re doing when your children want to talk or APPEAR THEY WANT TO TALK.  Remember, they don’t always way what it is they want.