The most important thing is for parents to establish good discipline when children are young. That sets the tone and lets children know you mean business and it will be much easier to discipline them when they are older.

There may be some who read this who have meant will, but didn’t go a good job of disciplining their children when they were younger. Don’t feel like it’s too late.

You still have considerable control when your children are 14 and 15, but once they turn sixteen, they’ll want to drive and feel that while they are not 18, they are adults. If you believed in spanking a lot when your kids were younger, you’re not going to be able to spank a 16+ teenager. I’m sure there are some dads who might be willing to beat their children to get them to behave, but this is not acceptable and only makes them hate you and them to raise their children in the same way.

So what’s a parent to do with an out of control teenager? The first thing is to make sure they are dependent on you for spending money, food, clothing, transportation, and shelter. Do not let them have a job if they refuse to do as you ask. If they already have a job, let them know that if they don’t follow your rules, they’ll have to quit. You have the power to prevent them from working until they’re 18. None of this will be easy if you didn’t set a good foundation when they were younger, you may be in for some battles. But keep in mind that positive discipline lets your kids know you love them. Lack of discipline, tells them you don’t give a damn about them because you’re not willing to put the time and effort into disciplining them. I often found I got along better when my children after I had disciplined them, maybe not right away, but after they had cooled off. Always seemed like a contradition.

Teenagers are thinking human beings and are almost adults so should be treated as adults and not children. Choose a time to talk to them. You’ll never be able to have a decent conversation with your teenager if you’re both yelling at each other. I find one of the best times is when they’re eating. We always had our children do their homework at the dining room table while dinner was being cooked. (This was true until they graduated from high school.) This is a great time to talk to them as adults. You can also talk to them during dinner or lunch. If your family doesn’t sit down and eat at the same time, it might be a good idea of make sure you have at least one meal together every day.

Teenagers like to eat at all times of the day, so whenever they come into the kitchen to get a snack, ask them sit down so you can talk. They may be surprised the first time you do this and may refuse, but don’t give up. They’ll either quit coming in for snacks (unlikely) or they’ll finally sit down and talk. At some point, you may have to insist they sit and will not be able to use the car, be grounded, etc. This is much easier when they are dependent on you for money, food, clothing, a car, and shelter.

You could also make an appointment with them. This sounds crazy I know, but it tells them you respect their time and also lets them know you want to have an adult conversation. Keep in mind that

Part of talking to your young adults children is to being willing to give them a reason whey you expect them to do as you ask.