Finally I got a chance to get out of this house, a beautiful morning on the bike turned into a great afternoon, I found myself energized by the sunshine. I have not written enough lately, probably the combination of everything, of course I have noticed even my dad isn’t writing anymore. They say that 80% of these blogs turn into wasted space, but I think no matter what it is not so much what you write, but the fact that you are able to someday look back and pick a day, any day and discover that you did live it too the fullest, even if you can’t remember that. I got my office worked out, or at least the beginning, set up a recording bay so that I can write music, and a place for all my photo stuff. I can’t wait to see this house take form. I cleaned up all the crap today, it was a great feeling, one that I am also hoping transmits into a more productive couple of days off. It is cold outside and the wind and rain are making their presence known. How magical it is to see the pounding surf, and the waves, it reminds you of God’s presence and the strength and beauty of nature. This house has made me realize many things. One, as I got rid of many many many of my old possessions is that we need really very little to live and that the number of our prized possessions which somehow define us are very small, limited often to what we can count on a hand. Mostly it is the people in our lives that seem to mean the most, this is a testament to the bit of loneliness I feel every time I transition to a new place. Sometimes I find myself craving a little bit of consistency and a good friend again to just shoot the shit, take a walk, catch a wave, or wax politics, but this takes time and who knows.
I am listening to books on tape, lots of self help recently, but what one man says is that we should never be so attached to anything or anyone as to make ourselves believe that we can not function without them. This sounds so easy but how difficult a task, to separate ourselves from our children, our loved ones, our families. Are we all just separate being wondering the face of the earth in search for the one thing that unites us? and is so is it enough that we are all united in the end to become attached? Our life is a journey alone? Seems so I guess no matter how I speculate it. Maybe this is the essence of fear around our death. We have no choice but to take the first step alone!!! And so it is. What a great bike ride!
Haven’t written much in my blog, but have been writing in my journal 50% of the days. I may write soon, but nothing has struck me as worth writing for some reason. I could publish my e-mails to my conservative friend. That may be a good idea. I’ve moved 5 times since 1997 and threw all kinds of junk away each time. Now all of it is stored in my two storage sheds and my house. Still have a lot to throw away though. Pictures, journals, and letters are the most important because they allow us “to put your head into yesterday.” It may not be a good idea to dwell on the past, but it is a good idea to glance at the past.